


AH: Recap Act 7

by nihilBliss



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Act 7, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Gen, Meta, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Summary, The Homestuck Epilogues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23072611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilBliss/pseuds/nihilBliss
Summary: In which TV's Andrew Hussie recaps Act 7 of Homestuck.Or something.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	AH: Recap Act 7

# Somewhere in the distant reaches of space...

A spaceship hurtles through the vacuum. It's dark, an empty husk that hasn't known where it's going for some time. A long time ago, it ran out of fuel, and its precious cargo was thought lost. Other ships came, though, and other pilots and crews rescued the people and the cargo onboard. They flew off, bound for places that first ship was never designed to go. Everything in it has been adopted and rescued from being forgotten and ceasing to exist.

Well, not everything...

In the still of the cargo hold, a cracked FOURTH WALL, absconded with and abandoned by many hands over many years.

It should not be turned on.

It should not have power.

But many things that should not have taken place have, in fact, taken place. The FOURTH WALL flickers to life and shows an orange man in a fashionable Gucci denim jacket, Supreme x Metallica hoodie, and Ghesquiere beachcomber hat, slapping the keys of a laptop with the reckless fury of one possessed. His face is red with strain and focus. Maybe it's because he has a lot to say. But probably not.

### >AH: Explain Yourself.

It's been a while, hasn't it? I don't think we've really talked since my own creation assaulted me and took over my authorial authority. Probably because I died.

You must have a lot of questions right now. Where am I? How did I get here? Why are we having a conversation while I'm  [ on a space toilet ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constipation) ? Did I really spend all of the Hiveswap money trying and failing to romance Vriska Serket? Who's flying the ship? When did I stop being dead? What happened in  [ Act 7 ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/8127) ?

Picking up from where we left off...

* * *

I was dead. Then it stopped being necessary to the story that I was dead, so I stopped being dead. Paradox space was collapsing, so I stole a spaceship and left. I ran out of fuel, but some friends found me, and now we're all on a different spaceship together. They're doing some of the flying too. It's pretty cool even though  [ all we have to eat ](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/constipation/symptoms-causes/syc-20354253) is  [ raw meat ](https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues/meat/1) and  [ candy ](https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues/candy/1) . The ship's engine runs on raw meat and candy, too. It's all meat and candy out here.

But enough about me. Here's how HOMESTUCK ended.

[ A big, climactic fight happened ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/8087) . Then, things went full anime. And not like those budget shows like Evangelion where they hang out on one still frame for like three minutes or have these constantly empty cities to keep their budget low. This was OVA quality, like the animators had a budget and something to prove in a short window of time. It's not Ghibli detailed, let's be fair. But somebody put some serious work into making the weird, nonlinear climax look good enough that you'd want to sit through it a couple of times to figure it out. 

Anyway, Muse Calliope - you know, the dead one who vored her Caliborn - opened the final set of curtains and raised her conductor's baton. She fused three universes into a black hole that started devouring the Green Sun. Then, the black hole got bigger. Lord English put so many cracks in the Furthest Ring that the black hole could start pulling away pieces of reality. It started absorbing the Furthest Ring. Aradia checked it out and thought it looked pretty cool. She was having a great time with the whole not being dead thing. Good for her.

Having defeated Bec Noir, PM took the black queen's ring, and she and the Mayor dropped it and the white queen's ring into the Forge on LOFAF. Echidna released the Genesis Tadpole from the Forge.

John, Jade, Dave, Rose, Terezi, Karkat, Kanaya, Dirk, Jake, Jane, and Roxy all watched from the lilypad. The Genesis Tadpole metamorphosed as it flew through the Incipisphere toward the Battlefield. It hit the core and anime-transformed into a Genesis Frog. The kids, the trolls, PM, and the Mayor all watched in awe as it became a new universe. The Ultimate Reward formed a door. Jade presented tiny beta Earth, and Dave fast-forwarded time until nature grew over all of the traces of the kids' civilization.

In the Dream Bubbles, Vriska led her army of ghosts to do battle with Lord English. She brought a chest, and when she opened it, the juju flew out. It flashed the beta kids' aspect symbols in a bunch of colors, then went white and landed on the ground. A door appeared, and, the  [ versions of John, Rose, Dave, and Jade ](https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues/meat/4) who had  [ previously fought Caliborn ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/7410) emerged and  [ did some stuff ](https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues/meat/13) . But that all happened after Act 7, so you can pretend it didn't happen if you want.

Speaking of Caliborn, after he found the juju, he used it to travel to The Felt Manor and stashed it in a chest, where it was lost until John, Vriska, Aradia, Meenah, and Aranea found it  [ back in Act 6, Intermission 5 ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/6082) . He snapped the pendulum off of Doc Scratch's grandfather clock, then he used Crowbar's crowbar to smash it. He absorbed some rainbow light power and screamed.

John reached out to grab the doorknob, and given what happened outside of canon, he managed to not fuck that up long enough to get everyone on the lilypad out of Sburb. On fast-forwarded Earth, PM and the Mayor used the plans for Cantown to build a new Cantown, but people-sized. The kids and trolls ectocloned themselves and made a whole bunch of baby humans and trolls, which they sent around the planet to inhabit the brand-new society. John was fucking around with Snapchat while Dave fast-forwarded the kids and trolls 5,000 years into the future so they could live in a real society instead of hanging around a bunch of carapacians in loincloths. Not that there's anything wrong with loincloths.

Then, everybody stopped growing and working on themselves, and seven years passed, and then  [ this happened ](https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues) . Or maybe it didn't. Who can say? You can, it turns out. Lord English is dead. There is no "alpha timeline" anymore. It's cool. You can kick back and eat another fucking Toblerone, as if your only choices aren't that, uncooked mystery meat, or going hungry until those options sound more appealing.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by LumenInFusco


End file.
